There are many quotes about love and marriage.
Love is eternal, marriage happen in heaven and lot and lots. But, from my five years of married life, I have learnt that love do not happen, There is no magic in the air.
A little flashback. I was very inquisitive about love. Not knowing the feeling in my teenage days, I went on and on searching for true love of the princess from the fairy tales. But years and girls passed by, but I was still in wonderland, like the frog who dreamed of kiss from a princess.
But eventually, after making a fool out of myself for many years, I finally gave up for arranged marriage. In all those year of past, I suffered, smiled, laughed, cried in love, without knowing, what exactly is love.
Then one fine day, I met her. The meeting was pre fixed. She knew I was coming, and mine and her parents knew. It was an arranged girl-boy meet. And, I saw her. Didn’t knew, what to decide, how to decide. Is she the one for my life? I was thinking, how to make that decision?what was the criteria?Is it how she ranks in beauty or how she responds to the unplanned pep talk?And time was running as parents are waiting for our ‘yes’ or ‘no’.
Finally, I decided that it’s her. I never was able to decide then, whether she pars with my beauty concepts, or fits perfectly in my intellectual thought process. But, I knew, I have to take care of her no matter what.
Then, finally on that auspicious day, I got married. I don’t know, I was excited, she was happy and happiness was all around. We talked, and talked, watched sunsets together. We lived on and the first anniversary came on. Still, I could not make out the special place she sworn in my life. It was too normal.
In next six months, we moved to a new city, away from home, parents, relatives and all we know. All we had was each other, but still, we spend more phone calls to reduce the home away sickness. We enjoyed the privacy and the time after office. She started experimenting with cuisines as food was basic necessity and she never cooked in her life. But, I ignored the ‘extra salt’ and the dining outs and was slowly understanding her. It was like discovering someone so close and yet feeling wonderful. I never till then, looked into her heart and asked what she expected of me. I never understood, why she adjusted to all my anger and uneasiness taken for granted and waited for me to calm down. And the second anniversary, came, in the middle of short spark of love and affection that was building around us.
It was an anniversary in the middle of financial crisis and yet she accepted the small chocolate box like a diamond ring. Still I didn’t know why? I was thinking, why the value does not matter. I least understood, it was not the price value, it is the value we imprint to it that matters.
And I started seeing her with more affection and care from then. I didn’t know, but she was valuable for me. I cared for her happiness, no matter what. Yes, there were moments, when I went back to the stone age, but, I always concerned about her.
By the time, we reached the third year, we understood each other in the most explicit way like two humans can know. we knew, what the we liked and do not liked, when to stop or when to wait, what to say and what better not. There were no walls now, and the ice was breaking. Still, I was not there, when she wanted me the most. I didn’t understand, what it values for her to hold her hand and stroll lazily through the park.
And at the fourth anniversary, I gave her a party of her dreams. She was happy. I was happy to see her happy and I learnt that chocolate and milk taste better when the bitterness of chocolate and sweetness of milk mix together without thinking about the consequences.
From the moment, till today, for me love is the wine that grew stronger with years. My marriage would have decided in heaven, but we created heaven on our small home, by understanding and respect each others’ space. It doesn’t matter how much we say “I love you ” to each other every day, it is the assurance that comes, when she trusts me, when I feel comfort and peace in her arms and when I start feeling that walking lazily through the park, holding her arms does mean a lot to myself.
This piece is dedicated to the woman of my life, with whom, I didn’t fall in love at first sight. or made love happen, but with whom, I feel myself complete.
Captured from Lake Victoria, near source of Nile, Kampala, Uganda
When you are pushed to the limits, a door opens to find you through the time.
It’s been six months since last time I blogged and lot of things have changed around me. The 180 days plus has moved me from the party city of India to the heart of Africa. It’s not just the travel; my work, my life and all around me has changed with it. This is just another example in my life that nothing is permanent around me except my love of life.
There were times when I believed that life is an extension of the past. Each day forward is another step added to the past moments. It was like a pen sieve of memory where I kept on adding the life experiences. Truly to admit, I never tried to live beyond the past. I never understood, or better tried to understand that, unless you see the change in you, you will always be stuck in the melancholy of life.
But, necessity pushes you over and makes you act beyond your thinking. It is one such necessity that made me extend my steps to Africa and it was the start of the series of events that lead to my realization that, it isn’t the past that guide us, but the very moments that you live and try to bring in change that ripples the future and betters the past that is yet to become. If I had stucked to past, I would never get beyond the present. But, it was my sheer will not to repeat the past changed my present and is building my future.
But, is it the end?never. Life rolls and the moments roll along with it.Past adds up, present lives and future unpredictable, may be the life would not be so beautiful, if we know, all that is coming. isn’t?
I am always afraid of questions for which I don’t have answer. And in today’s world of information, the least said is “I will get back to you”. What if, even ‘Google‘ cannot give you the answer to the question asked to you.
Oh yes, if we think, we are safe in the hands of information all over, please do remember the age-old liner in information technology : Information = Processed Data. What if there is no data? Obviously ‘no answer’.
When I was reading the articles commemorating the 15 years of Google, first my thought was about the world without Google. Then, it went towards, the answers Google give us: Whether it’s the truth or the answer Google wants us to have. With my third thought, I shocked myself. Can Google offer answers to questions whose answer lies within humans, not in any paper, records of web pages. Let me throw a question for you.
I hope the lightning stuck where it should. Trust me, even I never thought this bizarre idea of knowing thee when you know the entire world. I started my trial of back tracking my family tree. Winding and unwinding, the chain of relations made me wonder in the labyrinth of names,faces and faces with no names. So, i decided to take up this venture for my future generations. Because, my past and history cannot be foretold by any search engines, unless I explore. Unless, I speak to all the living links in my family and question their memories.
That’s me on a mission, what about you?
The needs of humans has grown far beyond the necessity of living. The life in this planet thrives on the basic need of air, water, food and continuity of the species. The food chain and the life chain balances them in a cycle that sustains life on earth.
From the bare necessities of life, the luxury is defined by anything extra available, but not necessarily needed. A trapped prey in sight after a sumptuous meal for a beast of the jungle is a luxury. But, these luxuries are necessities once the appetite comes back and can wait for the same. There is no wastage or over use of resources in the cycle of demand and supply . But, when the term ‘luxury’ is defined in terms of humans, the definition will stretch in multitudes of human affordability and lifestyle.
Lets start from the ground zero to understand the luxury in human perspective. For a vast percentage of population, food to hearts delight is a luxury of lifetime. Each moment in their life is aimed to get food for themselves and their family and nurturing the dream to get sufficient in food. Here, we see a unanimous relation among the wildness of nature and the helpless of human diversity.The hunger, poverty and the lack drives the life in this society and the anything that brings them out of this pathetic state will be deemed a luxury.
If we move a little up, there is a class of people who has daily income enough to feed the family. They can afford to buy new clothes once a year. They manage to get their children to government schools. The children suppress their dreams to their hearts as they know their parents cannot afford the same as their friend’s. This is the sector where sacrifices make life sweeter and any surprises is indeed a ‘luxury’.
Few more steps above, we have the people with all basic needs of life meet. So, luxury cannot be defined by means of necessities of life. Instead, for this class, luxury is more of a comfort zone which has become the necessity of their lives. The mobile phones, television, two wheeler, car etc. broadly comes in the class of people grouped in a wider sense. we can also see variety in this group based on affordability and the income. From this class of people and above, we can see how the surplus is diverted to the luxuries and the need is not quenched by meeting the necessity. Attaining comfort is driving the necessity with the availability of the market, as now, affordability is not a constraint.
Now, lets the move to the highly privileged, highest income bound class of human society where imagination is a limit to attain luxury. Right from custom made devours to cryogenic preservation, the dreams fly high in each aspect of life. There is no stop to the affordability of luxury. Money has less meaning here. It is as abundant as gravels in the backyard. So, luxury is a meaningless word which could not be defined with any words in vocabulary. Food is not for hunger, since hunger doesn’t exist, only taste and variety prevails. Dress is not for covering the nakedness, it is valued from its make, rarity and designer who made it exclusive.
With all said, what makes us different from any other living thing, which meets the basic necessities of nature and live on. And us, the evolved ones, exploiting the surplus for luxury, which at the same time can used to wipe the hunger of a big section of our own society. In animal world, one species compete with another for survival. But among us, we endanger the existence of our own species.
What we need is not democracy, communism, secularism or military power.
All we need is to understand that we all are humans, there is no country or continents, color, caste or creed. Live and let live as humans…
Caught eye on below status in IM of one of my friend. Too good, not to be shared with my blogger friends.
Cherish your solitude. Take trains by yourself to places you have never been. Sleep out alone under the stars. Learn how to drive a stick shift. Go so far away that you stop being afraid of not coming back. Say no when you don’t want to do something. Say yes if your instincts are strong, even if everyone around you disagrees. Decide whether you want to be liked or admired. Decide if fitting in is more important than finding out what you’re doing here. Believe in kissing